I Shouldn’t Be In This Class

Posted on October 24, 2012 by


I didn’t want to take this course. This course terrified me. This course seemed dangerous to my future. I am in “United States History Research Seminar” today because I know what I’m good at, and this is not something I’m good at. It is a concept that I’ve learned sometime during my thirteen years at OES; Doing something you like and are good at is so much less valuable than practicing your insecurities.

Similar to my research and time management skills, my endurance was, shall we say, ‘lacking’ in 6th grade. I was a bit pudgy, a little out of shape, and I desperately wanted to change that as I began my middle school career so I started the year off with joining cross country. Never had I ever enjoyed running but I knew it was good for you so I put myself in the uncomfortable position of being terrible at something for the sake of improvement. Sure, there were kids on the team who were fast and fit and did it because they loved to run! But running because I knew I was terrible at it was something special to me because it taught me self reflection by recognizing my weakness, as well as a driving need to improve upon those weaknesses. Unfortunately, I didn’t find passion in running, but I did my best and even placed 16th in a meet (which seriously guys, for a fat 6th grade girl isn’t too shabby), proving to myself that I could run if I wanted. I just didn’t much care to.

How does this story of an awkward middle schooler relate to studying our history as a nation in a research setting? I can’t do research because I can’t plan out my schedule and get things done. It’s a terrible habit to lose track of time but I believed that in enrolling myself in a project based class and thereby setting myself up for failure, I will force myself to work harder and utilize research skills better. Without these skills that I’m forcing myself to learn and use, there’s no way I’ll stand a chance in college and I guess my future is kind of important, right?

Posted in: Learning